a few sweet things from this week to top off the evening…
it was a week of praises… seeing students challenged and encouraged… seeing students take ownership of their ministry… seeing steps toward freedom taken… seeing students blossom and come alive under the grace and favor of the Lord.
what a privilege to see these things first hand… and to be a vessel in it.
to see Him at one point this week use even my folly and discouragement to encourage others. may God be praised.
He has been teaching me much as of late… urging and inviting and enticing me to live on my knees… to pray without ceasing.
showing me how in these last months my heart had withdrawn into self-centeredness and hardness in my woundedness… selfish… brittle… dry… self-reliant… fearful… proud… discouraged… forgetful… being fooled (listening to my flesh and those in my most immediate proximity) into thinking that gasping for breath was the same thing as breathing.
funny how we can so easily fool ourselves into accepting paltry substitutes in place of the real thing… taking cardboard for a feast… a broken recorder in place of a symphony… a stick figure in exchange for a piece crafted at the hands of a master. ”the heart is deceitful above all things…” (jeremiah 17:9).
and much conviction as of late… seeking for Him to examine the motives of my heart in all things… Him bringing before me, over and over again, the reminder that He looks at the heart.
and the all-over-again realization that HE. LOVED. ME. WHEN. I. HATED. HIM.
mmm… there aren’t even words for that.
and sweet, dear times with a sweet, dear sister in georgia… what a blessing… to be near someone who speaks the same heart language. a sister in a very different and very similar season. i love how the Lord has given me this friend… that though we have known each other for a very short period of time, she is a friend who already recognizes many of the nuances of my heart not so readily discerned by others.
and, too, to now be living with a family that loves and follows after the Lord. a home where Christ is the foundation and the focus. to see the Lord actively and intimately drawing my heart out of the place it was hiding. to see Him bring into the light what the posture of my heart had become… fearful, hesitant, despairing, broken. these days feel like fresh rain for a dry land. to understand that for the rest of my life this side of Home i will probably forever be harvesting from the seeds He is planting in me now through this home, this family, this brother and sister. what a blessing.
mmmm… there aren’t even words for that.
may God be greatly praised.
